You’d think I’d learn…

oh, yeah, I do learn, with alarming alacrity in some cases. It catches people off guard how quickly I can pick up on things.

And in other cases, my learning process is as much backward movement as forward progress, so that I find myself feeling a sense of accomplishment when I have attained what had, at one point, been a starting position. An example of that is my weight fluctuations. There was a time when I was distressed to have gained so much weight that I was 206lbs. I resolved to lose weight.

Fast forward about five years from that moment, and I was ever so pleased to be at 206lbs. Given that I’d made it up to about 275, and spent some time being that uncomfortably heavy, losing the weight down to 206 was a relief, and an accomplishment.

And now, I’ve been in the low 180s, upper 170s for a couple months. My mother is worried that I’m going to lose too much weight. One person at work joked that I need to get off the meth, because I’ve lost about 25lbs since April when we did a weight loss competition amongst most of my coworkers… I’m the only one who not only kept the weight off that was lost in those four weeks, but continued losing. I didn’t win the competition, but if we were to compare our weights now, I’ve definitely lost the most.

My learning curve when it comes to food, however, is another matter entirely. I know what foods I need to avoid. I feel so much better when I do not eat wheat. Usually, I avoid grains altogether. Occasionally, though, I binge. And I pay for it. The bloating, abdominal discomfort, headaches, fever, malaise, irritability, achey joints and muscles… you’d think I’d learn.

Some foods do not set well with me, and I should avoid them. Several members of my family have celiac disease, including my brother. I often wonder how well I’d do if I were given that diagnosis. To avoid gluten for the rest of my life would be a difficult task, not because it’s difficult to find gluten free products. Rather, because I have a difficult time fighting my own relationship with food.

On the subject of progress, I’ve felt a real improvement in my yoga. When I first began yoga, the class instructor would say something like, “step, or hop, your feet to the front of the mat”. The first time I tried the hop thing, I felt heavy, cumbersome. My feet made it, and my body complained about how much effort it took to make such an unnatural move. Tonight, the motion required so little effort that my feet came up quickly, and I ended up scratching my left hand with a toenail. Oops.

I definitely need to put more work into mastering my handstands.

And get off the binge cycle I’m on!

Oh, more positive progress: I finished making the tail for my girl’s Cheshire Cat cosplay. I like it just as much as I like the white tail I made for her FNAF Mangle cosplay.


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